reflections eternal
(I haven’t written… I mean REALLY written in a long time. I haven’t let you guys in… I mean REALLY let you guys in in a long time. This post is me sharing w/you something very personal to me, baring my realities; stripped.)
MMXI. Ok, so I realize we’re already over a week into 2012, but I’ve been meaning to take a moment and reflect on 2011. A combination of being busy, procrastination, and A.D.D. have prevented me to accomplish this in a timely manner. Story of my life. And so it is.
2011… at first thought, due to a trying 4th quarter, my 1st inclination is to immediately have ill feelings about my 2011. But see, this is where we go wrong in life — we allow the short lived bad things to outweigh the outlasting good. So I had to pump my brakes and remind myself that 2011 was not too shabby. I had a great job, no funerals (thank you universe, let 2012 follow suit), a loving family, and amazing friends. Life was good. Myself and everyone around me were progressing — 2011 was beautiful.
In 2011 I took a vow of celibacy, which I stayed true to (don’t get it twisted tho, I didn’t abstain from everrrrything). I ended loosely held relationships, mutually beneficial rendezvous, and really took time to focus on me. I am proud of myself, but after a year of that mind therapy, I’ve come to the conclusion that celibacy is overrated and so are tripple-A batteries. Next.
Here’s where it gets interesting… In 2011, I saw my career grow. I learned so much and watered the plant of my future. Fashion PR was my life and I enjoyed every second of it (well until my boss came back from maternity leave… she was such a *rhymes with kunt*). I met so many amazing people, made great industry connections and watched my network mature. For that, I am forever grateful. Towards the end of the year, I left Fashion PR. My contract couldn’t be extended and I was left without work. Oy vey. For the first time, I really truly felt the harsh realities of the job market and the economy. Despite a built resume (it’s pretty damn good if I do say so myself), a college degree, and a ton of experience, I encountered difficulties finding my next nesting ground for my plant, which at this point needed watering real bad. Everywhere wanted to pay beans and pennies for a salary and it’s really difficult for me to settle (KNOW YOUR WORTH). Times were rough, my savings dwindled down to single digits, over-draft fees were incurred, paying bills were seemingly impossible, and spirits were at an all time low. The night I fainted (literally passed out & FELL to the ground) at a Nipsey Hussle concert namely due to stress, was when I realized it was affecting my mental being and my health. I, Melody Hernandez, was in a dark place. Pitch black. However, in taking a note in the book of finding the beauty in the bullet, the positive was that I was able to see who I could really count on for a spiritual upheaval and keep my outlook bright. My closest friends were my savior (my family is a given). Namely Andrew Mulne… [Andrew, thank you for EVERYTHING. You kept normalcy in my life, thus keeping me sane.You really are my sunshine, and yes, when skies were grey YOU made me happy.] I am an absolute believer in that everything happens for a reason. Everything. Despite the hardships that the final quarter of the year brought, I knew in my heart that there was a reason for this pain, a lesson to be learned, and something great was going to come from it. It was that notion that I held on to, and that notion that I truly believed in.
In December 2011 I started my new job. It was… it IS perfection. This job, this position, this company, could not be more perfect. I remember in my second interview, I was asked, “So what do you think?” I literally responded with, “Honestly, I feel like this fell out of the sky and into my lap. It’s everything I’ve been looking for.” FINALLY, I found a job that combines everything I love and everything I’m good at. The people I work with have such a warm energy about them (I’m ALL about energies). They are just as obsessed with the powers of the universe, manifesting, and positivity as much as myself. I am finally home. I am happy. And most importantly, I can continue to watch my plant grow. Had my PR contract been extended, I would have never been fortuned with this job, with this position, with this opportunity. Another perfect example that everything happens for a reason. Being without a stable income for those few months also really humbled me. I mean I’ve always been pretty humble and level-headed, but this experience really brought me back down to earth and as difficult of a 3 months that it was, I am thankful for it.
The perfect ending to 2011 and an even better commencement for 2012. This new year will see my evolution and my continued growth. I used to spend so much energy using my talents to help other people succeed, to help other people’s progress, to help other people achieve THEIR goals. But in 2012 my focus will be on MY career, MY travels, and MY next endeavor. I have no resolutions for this new year, just focusing on being great. My vision board for 2012 is something serious.
Cheers to 2012. I am ready.
xxo Melody Darlene
